The Night Before: A Test of Faith

These past few days have been a test of my faith. Since Tuesday, I have been sick, and although most people get better every day, I'm steadily getting worse. My illness isn't just some common cold, it's a cold with a sore throat and asthma. We can call it CORTHMA in medical terms. So, my symptoms include an achy body, a sore throat, a cough, a runny nose, and the inability to breathe. Yikes!

All that being said, I think this is the Devil testing me. He's testing my faith. It's hard not to push those doubts out of my head: "What if I'm too sick to go" and "What if I get even worse there"? Although I can't say I'm well enough to go at this point (the night before), especially with the severity of my asthma, I will say that I'm trying to think positive thoughts and trust in God.

I'm not just the only one who is sick. There are quite a few of us who have come down with illness or are run-down and physically, emotionally, and mentally exhausted. We are all doing the final preparations, and for most of us it is downright tiring.

Please pray for all of us as we prepare these last few hours.

weelll i guess i should pack...

so we're leaving tomorrow. i must admit, i have no butterflies in my stomach or anything like that, i'm actually a little bit confused as to why i'm not super excited...i suppose the last little while has been extremely hectic with the internship, organizing and running chinese camp, and friday nights as well as tweaking the lesson plans for the STM, there hasn't been a lot of time to pack, or even think too much. anywho, i really do look forward to the STM and i know God will work!

one week

It's exactly one week until departure.

How do I feel? I'm fine when I'm busy doing things, but when I sit down and pause for a while.. I feel tired. heavy. burdened. And I don't really know why. I feel lonely; I feel like my hearts constricting and I can't breathe.

The rain helps, a little. I'm waiting for air. I'm waiting for the breakthrough. I'm open, broken and I say, "God, fix me please."